中奖了搞笑说说 中奖了的幽默说说

　　1、我来了，既然来了我就得说几句!只说几句而已!如果我不说几句!就对不起人了，既然我要说几句!那么肯定是要说话的~所以我决定几句话也许能改变一切!也许我说的这几句话什么也不能改变!不过!就算我说的几句话什么都不能改变!可我还是要把我想说的几句话说出来!如果我不把我想说的几句话说出来!那么，我来到这里而不说出我想说的几句话~~首先不说我想说的这几句话就对不起我自己!其实我不说出这几句话来!就浪费我上面所说的几句话了!到最后我还是总结了一下!!!我只是随意说几句。

　　1. I'm here. Now that I'm here, I have to say a few words! Just a few words! If I don't say a few words, I'm sorry. Since I'm going to say a few words! Then I must say something ~ so I decide that a few words may change everything! Maybe I can't change anything! But even if I say a few words, nothing can change! But I still want to say a few words Come out! If I don't say what I want to say! Then, I come here and don't say what I want to say ~ ~ first of all, I'm sorry for myself if I don't say what I want to say! In fact, I don't say these words! It's a waste of what I said above! In the end, I'll summarize it!!! I just say a few words at will.

　　2、刚才去李宁店想买件世界杯的汗衫穿，店员问我想要哪个队的，我说想要祖国队的，店员说没有，我说那就来个朝鲜队的吧，店员说也没有。我就想李宁的商品种类太不行了，还是明天赶集的时候买件阿迪达斯穿吧。

　　2. Just now I went to Li Ning's shop to buy a world cup sweatshirt. The clerk asked me which team I want. I said that I want the Chinese team, but the clerk said no. I said that I would like to have a Korean team, and the clerk said no. I think Li Ning's product range is too poor. I'd better buy an Adidas dress in the market tomorrow.

　　3、又看到你在发说说了，这让我不由的为你担心：你高数完成了么?英语四六级能过么?生活规划有了么?大学是让你每天发说说么?发说说能让你以后在社会中立足么?发说说能让你顺利找到工作么?发说说能让你父母安心么?发说说能找到对象么?有没有想过，以后就靠你一个人去打拼，社会的漩涡时刻都会把你卷进去，弱肉强食的竞争是你能承受的么?不好好学习以后怎么会有一技之长，怎么会突出自己，不好好学习以后怎么回报父母，发说说能解决这些问题么?你在空间里乱发说说你父母知道吗?发说说能让你的人生一帆风顺么?残酷的社会不是你这些说说能抵抗的，惟有认真努力的去学习，丰富自己，完美自己，才能让你与众不同，才能让你有能力去五杀去团灭，懂了么?明白了么?醒悟了么?sao年不哭，回头再发一条说说来感悟......

　　3. I can't help worrying about you: have you finished your high math? Can you live in CET-4 or CET-6? Do you have a life plan? Does the university let you talk about it every day? Can talking about it make you stand in the society in the future? Can talking about it make you find a job smoothly? Can talking about it make your parents feel at ease? Can talking about it make you find a partner? Have you ever thought about it, I will rely on it in the future When you go to fight alone, the whirlpool of society will always involve you. Can you bear the competition between the weak and the strong? How can you have a skill when you don't study hard, how can you highlight yourself, how can you repay your parents when you don't study hard, and how can you solve these problems? Do you know how to talk about your parents in the space? Can you make your life smooth when you talk about it? Cruel society is not something you can resist. Only by studying hard, enriching yourself, and perfecting yourself, can you be different, can you be able to kill five people and kill the group, understand? Understand? Wake up? Sao doesn't cry in the past year, and then send another one to understand

　　4、上学你带了什么?一颗随时准备放假的心

　　4. What did you bring to school? A heart ready for holidays

　　5、一次玩的路上，听见一个老师教幼儿园的小孩：幸福是什么？幸福是猫吃鱼，狗吃肉，奥特曼打打小怪兽。同学说：我来加工一下，幸福是什么？幸福是猫抓鼠，狗咬猫，奥特曼打打小狗狗。

　　5. On the way to play, I heard a teacher teaching kindergarten children: what is happiness? Happiness is cat eating fish, dog eating meat, Altman fighting small monsters. Classmate says: I come to process, what is happiness? Happiness is cat catching mouse, dog biting cat, Altman beating dog.

　　6、公司一男同事和一女同事开玩笑打闹时男的不小心把香水喷到女的眼睛里，女的瞬间泪流满面，男的豪爽地说：没事，瞎了我养你一辈子！。刚巧这男的女朋友来接他下班，在门口听到了这句。男的没等女朋友开口，果断地拉着女同事到他女朋友身边说：来，叫妈！

　　6, when a male colleague and a female colleague joked and played, the man accidentally spilled perfume into the eyes of the woman. The woman instantly burst into tears. The man said boldly, "nothing, I am blind. I will support you forever!" It happened that the man's girlfriend came to pick him up from work and heard this at the door. The man didn't wait for his girlfriend to speak, decisively took his girlfriend to his girlfriend and said: come on, call mom!

　　7、几个人在高尔夫更衣室，一手机响很久，一男人按了免提键。女：亲爱的你在俱乐部吗？男:在。女：我看到一辆宝马才不到两百万。 男人：买 。女：还有那个楼盘又放盘了，6万一平。男：买。女：好爱你。男：也爱你。 旁边男人敬佩得目瞪口呆。男人挂了电话，问：这是谁的手机？

　　7. Several people are in the golf changing room. A mobile phone rings for a long time. A man presses the handsfree key. Woman: are you in the club, dear? Man: Yes. Woman: I see a BMW less than two million. Man: buy it. Woman: and that property has been released again. In case it's flat. Man: buy. Woman: I love you so much. Man: I love you too. The man beside was stunned with admiration. The man hung up and asked: whose cell phone is this?

　　8、有一天上课，老师问小丽：祖国是什么？小丽说：老师，祖国是我的母亲，老师说：回答的很好。接着老师又问小明：小明，祖国是什么啊？小明说：老师，祖国是小丽的母亲。

　　8. One day in class, the teacher asked Xiao Li: what is the motherland? Xiao Li said: teacher, the motherland is my mother, the teacher said: the answer is very good. Then the teacher asked Xiaoming: Xiaoming, what is the motherland? Xiaoming said: teacher, the motherland is Xiaoli's mother.

　　9、亲，您好，可算找到你了。给您打电话也不接，qq也不回，旺旺也不在线。看见您在这发帖所以先占个位置。我是情趣用品店售后服务的，您寄给我们的娃娃已经修复好了，马上给您寄回去，下次请您温柔点对待她，毕竟不是钢铁制成的，当我们后勤人员收到货的时候，那玩意真是惨不忍睹啊，在场的工作人员都落泪了，连我都想哭了，您说前面也就算了，后面您也不放过，毕竟有些人有些特殊嗜好，我也不多说什么了，亲啊，嘴巴都变形了，好吧，我承认嘴巴变形也是正常的关键是鼻孔。耳孔您是怎么进去的?我就纳闷了!还有最后一个肚脐眼，草!您特么也是个人才，还特么最后给个差评，这个我们也不计较了，我们能理解您单身的愤怒，但请您以后不要那么粗鲁的对待她，毕竟她只是个娃娃。

　　9. Hello, dear, I have found you. Call you and don't answer. QQ doesn't answer. Wangwang isn't online. See you post here so take a place first. I'm from the after-sales service of the spice shop. The doll you sent us has been repaired. I'll send it back to you right away. Next time, please treat her gently. After all, it's not made of steel. When our logistics staff received the goods, it was so horrible. The staff on the scene were in tears. Even I wanted to cry. You said that even if the front was ok, you wouldn't put it back Yes, after all, some people have some special hobbies. I don't have much to say. Kiss, the mouth has been deformed. Well, I admit that the key to the deformation of the mouth is the nostril. How did you get in the ear hole? I wonder! There is the last navel, grass! You are a talent, and we don't care about that. We can understand your anger of being single, but please don't treat her so rudely in the future. After all, she is just a doll.

　　10、上机考试，先在备考区等，再经过一扇大玻璃门进考区。我考完后，在门口摸了良久，就是摸不到玻璃，旁边好心老师提醒我：同学，门是开着的。

　　10. For the computer test, first wait in the preparation area, and then enter the test area through a large glass door. After I finished the exam, I felt at the door for a long time, but I couldn't touch the glass. The good teacher nearby reminded me: schoolmate, the door is open.

　　11、你突然不回我消息的时候，我总是安慰自己：没事，你大概是死了。

　　11. When you suddenly don't return my news, I always comfort myself: it's OK, you are probably dead.

　　12、佐菲奥特曼、初代奥特曼、赛文奥特曼、杰克奥特曼、艾斯奥特曼、泰罗奥特曼、雷欧奥特曼、爱迪奥特曼、阿斯特拉奥特曼、尤迪安奥特曼、博伊奥特曼、乔尼亚斯奥特曼、史考特奥特曼、察克奥特曼、贝斯奥特曼、葛雷奥特曼、帕瓦特奥特曼、哉阿斯奥特曼、迪迦奥特曼、戴拿奥特曼、盖亚奥特曼、阿古茹奥特曼、高斯奥特曼、杰斯提斯奥特曼、雷杰多奥特曼、奈克斯特奥特曼、奈克瑟斯奥特曼、诺亚奥

　　12. Zoffi Altman, first generation Altman, savin Altman, Jack Altman, estealtman, Taylor Altman, Leo Altman, edialtman, astraaltman, utian Altman, boyaltman, jonyas Altman, scot Altman, chuck Altman, besaltman, grealtman, pawattman, Yaz astot Man, diga Altman, Dana Altman, Gaia Altman, aguru Altman, Gauss Altman, jestis Altman, rejedo Altman, NEXTER Altman, nexus Altman, NOAO