中奖了搞笑说说 中奖了的幽默说说(精选18句)

1、刚才去李宁店想买件世界杯的汗衫穿，店员问我想要哪个队的，我说想要祖国队的，店员说没有，我说那就来个朝鲜队的吧，店员说也没有。我就想李宁的商品种类太不行了，还是明天赶集的时候买件阿迪达斯穿吧。

2、 One day in class, the teacher asked Xiao Li: what is the motherland? Xiao Li said: teacher, the motherland is my mother, the teacher said: the answer is very good. Then the teacher asked Xiaoming: Xiaoming, what is the motherland? Xiaoming said: teacher, the motherland is Xiaoli's mother.

3、 On the way to play, I heard a teacher teaching kindergarten children: what is happiness? Happiness is cat eating fish, dog eating meat, Altman fighting small monsters. Classmate says: I come to process, what is happiness? Happiness is cat catching mouse, dog biting cat, Altman beating dog.

4、上学你带了什么?一颗随时准备放假的心

5、 Hello, dear, I have found you. Call you and don't answer. QQ doesn't answer. Wangwang isn't online. See you post here so take a place first. I'm from the after-sales service of the spice shop. The doll you sent us has been repaired. I'll send it back to you right away. Next time, please treat her gently. After all, it's not made of steel. When our logistics staff received the goods, it was so horrible. The staff on the scene were in tears. Even I wanted to cry. You said that even if the front was ok, you wouldn't put it back Yes, after all, some people have some special hobbies. I don't have much to say. Kiss, the mouth has been deformed. Well, I admit that the key to the deformation of the mouth is the nostril. How did you get in the ear hole? I wonder! There is the last navel, grass! You are a talent, and we don't care about that. We can understand your anger of being single, but please don't treat her so rudely in the future. After all, she is just a doll.

6、 Several people are in the golf changing room. A mobile phone rings for a long time. A man presses the handsfree key. Woman: are you in the club, dear? Man: Yes. Woman: I see a BMW less than two million. Man: buy it. Woman: and that property has been released again. In case it's flat. Man: buy. Woman: I love you so much. Man: I love you too. The man beside was stunned with admiration. The man hung up and asked: whose cell phone is this?

7、 I can't help worrying about you: have you finished your high math? Can you live in CET-4 or CET-6? Do you have a life plan? Does the university let you talk about it every day? Can talking about it make you stand in the society in the future? Can talking about it make you find a job smoothly? Can talking about it make your parents feel at ease? Can talking about it make you find a partner? Have you ever thought about it, I will rely on it in the future When you go to fight alone, the whirlpool of society will always involve you. Can you bear the competition between the weak and the strong? How can you have a skill when you don't study hard, how can you highlight yourself, how can you repay your parents when you don't study hard, and how can you solve these problems? Do you know how to talk about your parents in the space? Can you make your life smooth when you talk about it? Cruel society is not something you can resist. Only by studying hard, enriching yourself, and perfecting yourself, can you be different, can you be able to kill five people and kill the group, understand? Understand? Wake up? Sao doesn't cry in the past year, and then send another one to understand

8、 Zoffi Altman, first generation Altman, savin Altman, Jack Altman, estealtman, Taylor Altman, Leo Altman, edialtman, astraaltman, utian Altman, boyaltman, jonyas Altman, scot Altman, chuck Altman, besaltman, grealtman, pawattman, Yaz astot Man, diga Altman, Dana Altman, Gaia Altman, aguru Altman, Gauss Altman, jestis Altman, rejedo Altman, NEXTER Altman, nexus Altman, NOAO

9、上机考试，先在备考区等，再经过一扇大玻璃门进考区。我考完后，在门口摸了良久，就是摸不到玻璃，旁边好心老师提醒我：同学，门是开着的。

10、你突然不回我消息的时候，我总是安慰自己：没事，你大概是死了。

11、 For the computer test, first wait in the preparation area, and then enter the test area through a large glass door. After I finished the exam, I felt at the door for a long time, but I couldn't touch the glass. The good teacher nearby reminded me: schoolmate, the door is open.

12、又看到你在发说说了，这让我不由的为你担心：你高数完成了么?英语四六级能过么?生活规划有了么?大学是让你每天发说说么?发说说能让你以后在社会中立足么?发说说能让你顺利找到工作么?发说说能让你父母安心么?发说说能找到对象么?有没有想过，以后就靠你一个人去打拼，社会的漩涡时刻都会把你卷进去，弱肉强食的竞争是你能承受的么?不好好学习以后怎么会有一技之长，怎么会突出自己，不好好学习以后怎么回报父母，发说说能解决这些问题么?你在空间里乱发说说你父母知道吗?发说说能让你的人生一帆风顺么?残酷的社会不是你这些说说能抵抗的，惟有认真努力的去学习，丰富自己，完美自己，才能让你与众不同，才能让你有能力去五杀去团灭，懂了么?明白了么?醒悟了么?sao年不哭，回头再发一条说说来感悟......

13、一次玩的路上，听见一个老师教幼儿园的小孩：幸福是什么？幸福是猫吃鱼，狗吃肉，奥特曼打打小怪兽。同学说：我来加工一下，幸福是什么？幸福是猫抓鼠，狗咬猫，奥特曼打打小狗狗。

14、 When you suddenly don't return my news, I always comfort myself: it's OK, you are probably dead.

15、 Just now I went to Li Ning's shop to buy a world cup sweatshirt. The clerk asked me which team I want. I said that I want the Chinese team, but the clerk said no. I said that I would like to have a Korean team, and the clerk said no. I think Li Ning's product range is too poor. I'd better buy an Adidas dress in the market tomorrow.

16、 when a male colleague and a female colleague joked and played, the man accidentally spilled perfume into the eyes of the woman. The woman instantly burst into tears. The man said boldly, "nothing, I am blind. I will support you forever!" It happened that the man's girlfriend came to pick him up from work and heard this at the door. The man didn't wait for his girlfriend to speak, decisively took his girlfriend to his girlfriend and said: come on, call mom!

17、 What did you bring to school? A heart ready for holidays

18、几个人在高尔夫更衣室，一手机响很久，一男人按了免提键。女：亲爱的你在俱乐部吗？男:在。女：我看到一辆宝马才不到两百万。 男人：买 。女：还有那个楼盘又放盘了，6万一平。男：买。女：好爱你。男：也爱你。 旁边男人敬佩得目瞪口呆。男人挂了电话，问：这是谁的手机？